


Something I Could Never Lose

by kayxpc



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andreil, Andrew is a mess, Car Accident TW, Fluff, M/M, Neil gets hurt, naturally, the foxhole court - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9190244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayxpc/pseuds/kayxpc





	

"Come on, Andrew please?"

Neil flinched as the word left Nicky's mouth because he knew what it meant to Andrew.

"Nicky," he warned. He spun him around and prodded him in the direction of the door. Nicky groaned his disappointment and went to wait in the hallway.

"You okay?" Neil asked when he turned back to look at Andrew.

"Such a question."

"Would it kill you to answer me for once?"

"Hypocrite." Andrew said without any bite behind it. He buried his hands in his black sweatpants and came closer.

"Don't do anything stupid," he told Neil. Neil shrugged.

"No promises." He held a hand up, close to the curve of Andrew's neck and asked "yes or no?"

"Yes."

Neil's fingers grazed along his skin and tangled into his hair when their lips met. Andrew rested his hands in the small of his back and pulled him close. It was so intimate, Neil wanted to laugh at the way Andrew still tried to deny their relationship. That is, if it wasn't so tragic.

"I'll be back," Neil whispered. His forehead pressed against Andrew's as he kissed him one more time.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Andrew shot back. It was cheap, a jab at all of Neil's flighty tendencies. He stayed put in the foxhole court for almost two years now, but Andrew still acted like he might disappear.

"I'll keep this one." Neil kissed him quickly and left.

-

Neil had no idea why Nicky enlisted him of all people to help him shop for Eriks return.

"I can't believe this is happening. Remember when we first met? I told you Erik was my husband—ha! I never thought... Erik is perfect. He's everything to me, I can't believe this is actually happening."

Neil tuned most of it out. Nicky would be going on about this for hours. It was weird to picture him getting married. Neil often forgot how old he was and could hardly imagine him settling down. Nicky was a flirt, but he was never unfaithful. He loved Erik with every fiber of his being, anyone who knew him, knew that.

"And oh, Erik can wear a suit let me tell you—"

It was strangely domestic, a fox getting married; getting a happy ending. It just wasn't the sort of the foxes did.

"This? Oh I think this is it!" Nicky was holding a deep blue sweater, not unlike others he had, against his torso.

"Yeah, looks great." Neil attempted to give him a supportive smile.

"You doll," Nicky grinned at him and took back to the racks again.

-

  
After three hours searching for the perfect outfit, they checked out at the front of the store. Nicky took advantage of the ride back to start filling Neil in on the details of the engagement party he already started planning. He prodded Neil for opinions every once an a while. He pressed his forehead to the frosted window and tried to stay awake.

Nicky rounded the endless line of buildings at the mall and pulled onto the road at last. He'd driven to the one outside of Columbia because the one in town didn't have "high fashion." Neil didn't think a plain blue sweater was high fashion but he didn't argue.

-

Neil felt cold. He could feel the hot rush of oozing blood over his temple but he felt an overwhelming chill all over. There was a screaming pain in his shoulder and his vision was more than a little blurry as he tried to remember what happened.

He heard Nicky yelling, brakes screeching, glass shattering. He must have blacked out.

"Neil! Neil!" Nicky was yelling from the drivers side door. Neil tried to look, but he could hardly move his neck without his body shaking in rejection.

"Neil? Oh god—hurry—third street—" Neil heard his voice fade in and out. Nicky gripped his left shoulder hard like he could keep Neil awake with force alone.

"Neil stay with me," he could hear the terror in Nicky's voice, "Neil please—" was the last thing he heard before the black spotting in his vision took over.

-

He came to in the ambulance when a small flashlight shined in his eyes.

"Sir, can you tell me your name?" A voice that must be a paramedic asked. He could hear Nicky crying close by. His hand gets squeezed tightly.

"And—rew." Neil choked out.

"Neil? Neil, it's okay. It's going to be okay. He's on his way."

"Can you tell me–" Neil faded to black again.

-

A gurney slammed open three swinging doors in rapid succession. Neil cracked his eyes open to intrusive light again and winced. He couldn't move his neck, they had him in a c-collar so he couldn't see anything but the ceiling. He wanted to cry, he might have been but he couldn't exactly feel anything except pain that stemmed from his ribs.

"Andrew," he managed.

The doctors pushing him moved in his peripherals. Andrew came into a blurred focus.

"I'm here."

Neil felt the hot rush of tears well behind his eyes. He lifted his hand and blindly felt around until Andrew took it. Neil's body let a shiver wrack through him. He was terrified.

He had spent more time than not on the run from bad men with sharp knives. He had been tortured and beaten to a bloody pulp. This was entirely different because he had no idea what was going on, all he knew was pain. He didn't know what happened, how he got here, he couldn't remember anything and it was terrifying. He had no idea what was wrong, how bad it was. He could be dying, he could just have a broken arm he _didn't_ _know_.

"Andrew-"

"I've got you Neil, you are going to be okay, do you hear me?" Andrew sounded confident but Neil knew there was a doubt in his words. His grip was tight around their interlaced fingers.

"I love you," Neil told him, because he wasn't sure he'd get the chance again, and passed out.

-

When Andrew walked into the surgical waiting room and saw Nicky, things went bad fast. He had a blade to his throat in a heartbeat and pressed so hard he broke skin.

"Andrew," he rasped between broken sobs.

"What happened?" Andrew ground out, steeling every ounce of restraint he had not to commit murder with an audience.

"I-don't-know. It all happened so fast. A truck, he ran the red light and... and he... oh god." He collapsed against Andrew despite the knife pressed into his throat. Andrew tucked it quickly and guided Nicky's heaving body into the seat.

"Fuck." Andrew said, oblivious to the nurses staring. "Holy fuck." He paced short circles and ran his hands through his hair. When he saw Nicky he felt the urge to strangle him. Knowing he probably couldn't walk if he told him to leave, Andrew got Nicky out of his line of sight before he did something he couldn't take back.

He burst into the hallway, still pulling his hair out ignoring way his eyes burned. He paced between the walls once and then buried his fist into the drywall.

"God damn you, Neil." He said to himself as he tore his dusty hand out of the new hole.

-

When the surgeon came out of the swinging double doors, Andrew was on him in a second.

"How is he?"

"Are you–" he flipped through the chart on his clipboard "Neil Josten's next of kin?"

"Yes, what's wrong with him?" Andrew grit his teeth so hard he surely had no enamel left.

"Can I ask your relation to the patient? Are you his brother? Cousin?"

Andrew balled his hands into fists so he didn't slit the mans throat.

"I'm his family."

The look he sent the doctor must have been enough because he finally continued. Andrew felt Nicky approach.

"He has three broken ribs, we thought one punctured his lung, but he was lucky. His spleen ruptured and caused some internal bleeding, luckily we got it under control quickly."

Andrew clenched his jaw tightly. The only reason he wasn't taking apart the man in front of him for saying that Neil was _lucky_ of all things, was that they would kick him out. 

"His shoulder dislocated from the impact of the crash and he has some nasty bruising, but he should recover fully." The doctor looked up at Nicky and then gave a tiny, supposed to be comforting smile. Nicky let out a shaky breath behind Andrew and buried his face in his hands.

"I want to see him." Andrew said, not a question.

The doctor looked at the expensive watch on his wrist and said "he should be getting to his room in about five minutes. I'm not sure he will be awake, or in any state for visitors, but it's room 313."

Andrew turned around without another word, pushing past Nicky. He took the three flights of stairs so fast he felt dizzy.

He beat Neil there, but he wasn't far behind. The nurses plugged wires into numerous beeping machines around the room and then left. Neil wasn't awake. Andrews eyes stung as he drug a chair over and took Neil's hand again.

The whole right side of his face was black and blue from fresh bruising. It sent a sharp rush of nausea through Andrew.

"Neil," he said, even though he knew he couldn't hear him. He laid his head down next to their hands and pressed his lips to the backside of Neil's palm. "I love you." He said into his skin, and he hated himself for hiding it. Saying in alone in the dark, when Neil couldn't even hear him.

-

The rest of the foxes came by about ten minutes later. Dan and Renee made a trip to the gift shop for bouquets and a fluffy brown teddy bear. Andrew wanted to scream at them, he wanted to hurt them. Tell them to get away from Neil, they were being stupid. They left eventually, Wymack shortly after asking if Andrew needed anything.

He didn't _need_ anything. If Neil didn't make it out of this, he wouldn't either. It was as simple as that.

He felt sick, cold sweat covering his body until he was shaking. He was supposed to protect Neil.

Nicky visited in the safety of numbers but stayed in a chair outside the room for the rest of the night. He paced up and down, talked on the phone, bugged orderlies for updates. He cried and cried and ended up being tucked in, already asleep, by a nurse. 

-

Andrew didn't sleep for one second, unable and unwilling. Neil woke up after one in the morning.

It was with many flying limbs and a hand ripping the hair from Andrews scalp. Neil started scrambling to get out of bed and was met with stabbing pain in his gut. Andrew slowly covered the hand in his hair with his own to pull it away.

"Neil, its me." He said as if Neil were a spooked animal.

"What... what's going on?" He asked in panicked voice as he took in his dimly lit surroundings. He felt the brace they had around his torso with wide eyes.

"Did my father put me here? Andrew—"

  
"No. Nathan is dead. There was an accident."

He didn't bother asking him if he remembered, when it was clear he didn't. He joined their hands again and squeezed to ground Neil.

"An accident?" He looked at Andrew like he had no idea what he was talking about. Andrew didn't take breath for so long his chest ached with effort.

Then Neil's eyes snapped into focus when he realized what happened.

" _Nicky_ , oh god is he...?"

"He's fine, Neil you are both fine. Listen to me."

Andrews voice was suddenly the most soothing thing Neil had ever heard. He lifted his free hand to Neil's face to brush a stray hair away.

"Breathe," he told him, and then he was asleep.

-

Neil didn't wake up again until the next afternoon. Andrew could hear Nicky out in the hall, asking if that was normal.

"His body has been through a lot, he needs rest," a faceless doctor told him.

Andrew took a deep breath and stood. When he got to the doorway, he curled a finger at Nicky: permission to come in. He settled in the chair at the end of the bed and Andrew sat down next to it. He laid his head down next to their hands and faced away from Nicky.

"Andr—"

"Don't," Andrew said without so much as opening his eyes. He didn't think he could hear his voice right now.

-

It was 2 pm when he woke up this time, calmer.

"Do you remember the accident?" Nicky asked after he moved to the opposite side of his bed so he could speak to Neil.

"Bits and pieces... what happened? Are you okay?"

Nicky flinched and looked at Andrew hesitantly. Andrew didn't look away from Neil, didn't stopping rubbing his thumb over Neil's knuckles.

"Someone ran a red light and t-boned us, on the passenger side." Nicky explained, his eyes watering as he went through the crash for the umpteenth time. He thought about the way Neil's body was stretched across his seat, the way his arm was twisted wickedly behind him.

"Jesus, Andrew your car." Neil looked back at him with wide eyes. Andrew hadn't even realized it was his car that had been involved until now.

"Shut up," he bit. Neil still looked concerned, but wisely dropped it. He felt around at the brace on his torso.

"How many ribs did I break?" He was familiar enough with the feeling to know.

"Three, a dislocated shoulder and a ruptured spleen." Andrew informed him. Neil didn't miss the way his hand tightened in his own. He looked around Andrew to see the gifts left behind and smiled a little.

"When were they here? Wait, how long have I been out?"

"About twelve hours." Andrew said and Nicky furrowed his brow at him. He was still in the hallway when Neil first woke.

"You don't remember? You woke up at 1:18 this morning." Andrew asked, because he could still feel the way Neil had held onto him. Neil shook his head and laid back again. The room fell silent. Andrew was half sitting on the bed as he stroked the soft strands of Neil's hair.

"I'm gonna–I'll be outside," Nicky whispered before shutting the door behind him.

Neil opened his eyes at the noise, smiling the slightest bit when he found only Andrew.

"Are you okay? Do you need more pain meds?" Andrew barely whispered.

The air in the room felt fragile as did the man beside him. Neil was so... he was like smoke. He was there, there, there, until he wasn't. He'd slipped through Andrews fingers too many times. He kept combing through his hair as he got closer and looked at him.

"I'm okay," Neil told him, because _I'm fine_ , wouldn't have gone over so well.

"I can't remember anything," he confessed.

"It's better that way." Andrew leaned down to press his lips on Neil's forehead. His face felt hot again, some immeasurable fear welling through him. When he looked back into Neil's bright blue eyes he felt out of control.

"I'm sorry this happened to you."

"It isn't your fault," Neil looked confused that he would even suggest it.

"I'm supposed to look out for you. You're my... jesus christ Neil."

Neil made a shhh sound and brings his hand to the back of Andrews neck to pull him in.

"This is not your fault. Hey, hey. Kiss me." So Andrew did. Their lips met, soft and warm. He felt himself crumbling underneath it all. He wanted to cradle Neil's face but the mess of bruising stopped him. He sat back down and rested his head next to their hands.

"I can't lose you," he whispered. Neil's hand reached over to comb through his hair now. He could finally breathe.

"You won't."


End file.
